Star vs the Fuckery of Evil
by CPPS Fics
Summary: An NSFW edit of the original series. (May contain smut)


**Note: We do not own Star Vs The Forces of Evil. Disney XD has every right for the show. This is a non profit parody.**

 **Chapter 1: Star 'Cums' to Earth**  
Written by ChappiePete, Pwnsicle  
Produced by TheCanadianInfernape

* * *

 _Far far away, in a magical land called Mewni, lived a princess; Star Butterfly._

* * *

A portrait of the royal family of Mewni was resting on the wall adjacent to a staircase.

"Rail slide!" A young girl with long blonde hair and pink heart-marked cheeks screamed as she slid down the staircase rail and crashed into the portrait, causing the portrait to fall on top of her.

"Shit." She forced her way out, by punching the picture with her fist.

* * *

 _Some people have called me a slut and a whore just because..._

* * *

Star entered a deep dark cave, where she encountered a group of monsters gazing at her with terrifying looks on their faces.

* * *

 _...I like to pleasure monsters...  
_

* * *

She seductively walks over to the monsters where she starts moving her hands around their bodies until she meets their groin, in where she gently caresses them, until they climax over her face.

"You like that, don't you, Mister Monster..."

* * *

 _...And "tame" wild unicorns!_

* * *

Star jumps on a unicorn as it jumps up and neighs.

"Yeehaw!" She makes the unicorn move and directs it to the female on the other side of the river. As soon as it reaches her, Star jumps off and hides in the bushes with a huge grin on her face. She starts to watch the unicorns mate and starts celebrating.  
"Good boy, you've got her right where you want her! Hehe..." She starts giggling.

* * *

 _I like to have fun! And I'm about to have a whole lot more of it, because today is my fourteenth birthday! And according to tradition, my mom, the Queen, has to bestow upon me our greatest family heirloom: the royal magic wand!_

* * *

King and Queen Butterfly wait for Star in the throne room as the audience look to the doors. Just before the guards open them, Star comes crashing through with a unicorn with cum all over it's body, scaring the audience. As the unicorn crashes through the back wall, she lands in front of her parents. She starts panting in excitement.

"Now Star, this wand is a big responsibility. If it falls into the hands of evil forces, the whole universe could be destroyed, and your body could be taken." Her mom said sternly, making sure she heard and understood what she was explaining. Not looking like she was listening, Star snatched the wand out of her mom's hand. As she does so, the wand changed shape into a sausage shaped item.

"A dil- Star! What have you been doing recently for this to happen?!" Her mother shouted.

Star tried playing innocent to her mother. "I-I've been doing princess duties.

Practicing my posture, training my vocal cords, the usual." she lied. Her mother sighed.

The heirloom in her hand changed into a normal star shaped wand. "See? Nothing to be worried about, I can handle it!" Star jumped and dashed outside the castle.

As soon as she reached outside, she chanted a lot of different spells, all of which made the residents of Mewni fall onto the floor in agony, and burned a rainbow which surrounded the castle. Her parents, along with a miniature blue being, watched out from the castle windows with binoculars.

"She can't handle it!" Her parents said in unison.

Her parents come out and drag her towards the castle gates. "Nooooo! I can be good. Please! Don't send me to St. Olga's Reform School for Slutty Princesses!"

"Sweetheart, we're not sending you there." King Butterfly said.

"Yet." Queen Butterfly adds.

King Butterfly tells her their plan. "We're sending you to train in a...'safer' dimension; a place called Earth."

"Earth?" She repeated. She had never heard of this dimension even though she's heard stories of quite a few.

Her parents nodded and started to push her towards a carriage. The king shouted to the guard watching over to open the portal. He moved away, facing his back towards the carriage and picked up some ordinary looking scissors. He placed them in the air and 'cut' open the air to reveal a portal leading to Earth.

Star, who was now in the carriage which was slowly moving into the portal, sighed as she said goodbye to Mewni, her home for the past 14 years. As she passed through, a strong looking frog like monster who was spying on them through a bush, starting laughing evilly.

* * *

They entered the Earth Dimension and headed towards the nearest school, Echo Creek Academy. Star's parents were in the principal's office.

"So you say you're from another dimension?" He asked them a question, concerned about who they were. Before they could answer though, they heard a moan outside the principal's office. They opened the door and saw a student, named Justin, on the floor in pleasure, with his groin out in full view. Star had cum over her body and she giggled.

"And you said there was no magic on Earth!"

The principal, Mr Skeeves, shook his head. "Yeah, it's not going to work."

The king and queen gave each other a suggestive face. Two Mewmans around the same age as the principal appear from the sides and give him seductive looks.

The king explained who they were. "These are two maids from Mewni who will happily oblige to whatever you ask of them."

His frown turned into a smile, turned back to the Mewni princess and shouted "Star's gonna love it here!"

The king, looking back at Principal Skeeves, tells him that she's going to need a guide.

A tanned skinned boy around Star's age was sitting in a classroom, when the P.A. System blares "Marco Diaz to the principal's office. I repeat, Marco Diaz to the principal's office!" He looked up surprised and then his expression turned from shock to a smirk.

"Oooh, looks like someone's in trouble!" He gets off his chair and looks back at the class when he reaches the front of the class.

"So I guess everyone who voted me "Safest Kid" must be feeling pretty embarrassed right about now." He walked over to the teacher, Ms. Skullnick, who was shown to be painting her toenails, and asked "Do I need a hall pass?"

"Just freaking go already you ignorant fuck!" She shouted.

He obeyed and walked out of the classroom before starting an argument with the teacher.

* * *

Marco, who noticed the principal outside of his office, walked towards him, thinking he was in trouble. "What's up?"

Mr Skeeves turns around and notices him. "Marco, I want you to meet our new foreign exchange student: Star Butterfly!" They both look towards the girl who was near a water fountain. She pressed the button on the top, which made the water fly out of the tap. She stopped, and then gave the fountain a dirty look.

"I need a responsible, never-take-chances type to keep an eye on her, and who better than you, the safe kid?" He nudged Marco, and had a slight smirk on his face.

Marco went from being confused at Star's antics, to a defensive look. "No no no no! I am completely wrong for this. I am a misunderstood bad boy!" The principal squeezed his cheek.

"You are completely adorable! Now I'm off to my penthouse, Daddy's gonna get some pussy tonight!" He walked away, meeting the two Mewman maids who were patiently waiting for him. They left the scene, as he whacked their asses.

Marco looks back at Star, who is casually thrusting the water fountain. "Do it again! Let me see your spout..." She whispered in a seductive tone.

Marco takes Star around the school once she had finished with the water fountain.

"Thanks for showing me around, Safe Kid!" She teased.

"What? No! Whatever you heard about me isn't true.." As he explains, Star goes around saying hi to all the new people in her life as well as gazing at the wonderful life Earth students have. "I don't know where people get the idea I'm so safe! You bring a condom to a party one time and you're labeled for life! Frankly, I love taking risks and living the sex life dangerously..."

Star brings up her wand and casts a spell on a passing student. The girl who was shot by the wand suddenly changed facial expressions and walked over to Marco desperately and suggestively. "Hey big boy, want some fun?"

The girl walked over to him, and grabbed his groin through his clothes. Marco pushed her away as she fell onto another student, who she went for instead of Marco.

"What the heck did you do to her?!" He screamed.

"What's wrong? I thought you wanted a little, danger!" She giggled.

Marco stood back, and looked genuinely concerned. "Who are you?"

She raises her wand. "I'm a magical princess from another dimension!" Her wand flashed and she posed and created a rainbow full of little animals sitting on top of it, just before it suddenly burst into flames.

"And that brings us to the end of our tour! I'm going home now." He started walking off quickly just as Star was singing goodbye to him.

Marco wanders back to his house, thinking that after today he could have a normal life, but as he opened the door, he noticed a familiar face sitting in the lounge next to his parents.

* * *

"Oh, Marco! Come meet the new foreign exchange student who's gonna be living with us!" Mrs Diaz softly invited him.

"What?! I had no idea these were your parents! I just assumed everyone on Earth had he last name Diaz!" Star jumped for joy when she saw the boy who just gave her a tour around school.

"Won't it be nice to have Star's upbeat, lively energy around the house?" Added Mrs. Diaz

"We could've gotten that from a litter of puppies!" Marco explained, annoyed at the sudden appearance of Star.

"I...love...puppies!" She gasps and magically summoned 8 puppies into existence. "But be careful with them, they cost 3 blowjobs!" She whispered to Marco.

The puppies started yapping, but then shot lasers through their eyes, knocking over a lamp and blasting a hole through Marco's face on a family photo. Marco looked very angry at Star.

Mr Diaz picked one up, laughing. "Well they are very cute." As he started stroking it, the puppy shot a laser through his eye. "Shit. My fucking eye!" After a few seconds of pain, he started laughing again. Mrs Diaz turned to her son.

"Marco, why don't you show Star her new room?" She asked. Star shouted in joy as Marco was forced to take her huge suitcase up the stairs.

* * *

Watching the scene unfold was the same frog like monster sitting on a tree, pulling his binoculars off his face and opening a portal with scissors as he 'cut' the air. He started laughing evilly.

On the other side of the portal was an interior of a castle. He started to salue and croak as he approaches a throne.

"Ludo, master, I've tracked down Star Butterfly. They've hidden her in the Earth Dimension, unguarded!" he gave a smirk to Ludo who was sitting on the throne, facing away from the frog.

"Haha!" He laughed as he turned around, showing his really small size, sitting on a bunch of body pillows with female monsters wearing little-to-no clothing drawn on them.

"Excellent work, Buff Frog." He spoke, revealing his minion's name. "I knew they couldn't hide that slutty royal brat from me for long. Soon, the wand will be mine, then she will be mine, and then the universe will be mine, and then… actually, the universe should do it... I'm coming for you, Princess Butterfly…!" Ludo evilly grinned.

* * *

Back on Earth, Marco is dragging Star's luggage to her new room. He drops her luggage and the heavy luggage lands on his foot. "Shit!" He grunted.

Star completely ignores his cries in pain and decides to makeover her room. "Huge Expand Blast!" She throws her wand in the air, but none of the room changes. "Huh? That always works with my mum when she used it back on Mewni..."

She looked confused, but a heavy weight on her chest made her realise what she'd done. She turned around to see the tanned skinned boy still bouncing around in pain with his foot in his arms. She sighed in relief, reversed the spell and tried again. "Now I remember, Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand."

Suddenly, the room turned into a massive castle-like residence. "That's better."

"Whoa...I wish I had a room like this..." Marco complained slightly.

"You do?" Star looked excited. She ran out her room and down the corridor, towards Marco's room.

"Star... I don't think you should go in there...It's not suitable for someone like you." He slightly blushed. He didn't want Star to find his magazines.

"Mystic Bulge Suck Transformation" Star screamed with her wand. "And by suck, I mean..." She gazes down at Marco's crotch region which suddenly had a huge bulge, caused by the spell.

"Oh no. Don't you dare!" Marco grabs Star by the shoulders and pushes her out of his room.

"Suck...Suck! Why was the word 'suck' in that spell. I do not want to be sucked!" Marco groaned.

"I don't know, maybe I just wanted to brighten your day...how about this instead?" Star creates a small sun over Marco's head. It immediately turns into a rain cloud which drenches his head with water. "Aw..." She sighed.

"That's it I can't take it anymore. If you're moving in, I'm moving out!" He screamed. He opened the window and jumped out. Star heard a scream from below. She looked out and saw Marco lying in cacti.

"Fuck. Why do we even have cacti in our garden...?" He groaned as he got up and walked off.

Star, not knowing what to do, kept whimpering and putting her head out of the window, but then retreating a few times aswell. She wanted to help Marco, but she was unsure on what he wanted.

* * *

Night falls, and Marco is outside the Stop and Slurp, asking civilians to 'do him a solid and refill a cup he has'.

"Don't make eye contact." A single mother with her child came running out when he begged them for a refill. "He'll rape you with his eyes."

Star appears behind him, which shocks him greatly. "And why the hell are you here?"

"Marco, I...didn't get a choice about coming here to Earth, and you didn't get a choice about having to deal with me. I'm also sorry about the sucking incident earlier on..." Marco's expression greatly softens. "I'll find another family to live with."

"S-S-Star?" Marco looks behind her, and notices some monsters charging at them. The leader, a small bird like monster, start's speaking.

"Well Star Butterfly, I finally found your slutty ass." He smirks.

"Ludo, how did you find me?" She asks. "And I'm not slutty!"

Ludo starts laughing. "Well wouldn't you like to know..." Star nods. "Oh well Buff Frog...Hey, I don't even need to tell you! Get her minions!" he points at the yellow haired princess.

All of his minions start charging at Star once more. She gets ready to attack but only to be interrupted by Marco, who screams and starts beating them up.

"M-Marco? That's not how I fight." Star slightly bushes.

"This is called Karate. Why, don't you fight like this?" Marco starts attacking the monsters, using his different moves he learnt from Karate class.

"My style is mostly just giving them what they want, but in a different way, if you know what I mean." She gives the monsters a dirty look and dives on them.

Ludo screams at Buff Frog. "You said she was unguarded!" The monster only grunted in confusion as Star was giving some of the monsters hand jobs and Marco was beating the others up.

As Buff Frog charges at Star, she shouts a spell and grabs her wand with her free hand. "Jellybean Hallucination Mist." Buff Frog falls onto the floor and starts to hallucinate. "That's my favourite spell. It has the same effects as acid. I mean, weed is not hallucinogenic, Marco!" She giggles as she continues pleasuring the monsters.

"Ok Star, that's enough pleasure, we're done here." Marco complains. She stands up and agrees. She assesses the situation and pulls out her wand.

"I'm sorry guys, I was having fun, but this has got to end before it gets out of hand. You understand? Mega Narwhal Blast!" Hundreds of Narwhals come racing out of the wand, aiming at the monsters, and exploding on impact.

Ludo looks surprised once the minions had been hit, then displeased. Star walks over to him.

"You want some of this Ludo?" She closes her hand in a fist and starts to move it up and down like a jerking motion.

"No..." He declines, stands back up and opens a portal with the same kind of scissors Buff Frog previously had. "You see, you horny idiots...this is what happens when you don't work out! Your muscles are like pudding. And don't get me started on down there. Alright back through the portal!" All of his minions start walking back, covered in bruises and cum. "You even retreat like losers!" He insulted.

As the last monster walked through, he turns around. "I'll get you Star Butterf-" He starts gagging, as the portal catches his neck. He pulls in the last second, leaving his skull crown on the ground.

"That was amazing. I was amazing...You, were amazing!" Marco gave Star a slightly suggestive look. She only sighed.

"Yeah, I guess you were, well I better go pack my bags." She started to walk away, only to be stopped by Marco.

"No, I don't want you to go. I want you to stay with us." He begs. Her frown turns into a big grin as she hugs him. She reaches for his crotch but he slaps her hand away. "As long as you don't do that, I'm fine with you staying.

"Aww, ok sorry..." Even though she was rejected she still smiled anyway.

"Is there gonna be any more monster fighting?" he screamed in joy as he was making karate moves. She nodded. "Alright, living life dangerously!" He laughed, but stopped them both when they reached the road. "We should probably cross at the lights..."

"Ok, 'wild-man'!" She giggled as they walked away from the store, leaving nothing but broken cars and white cum all over the windows of the supermarket.

 **Episode 1 end**


End file.
